12/15/2010

Its been a long time since I've written last. A lot has happened to but now the semester is over and there isn't much to write about. I am so happy that I was able to make it through the semester even though I had a lot of rough times. I will be leaving all of the new friends I have made to go make new ones. Times may change, and people may move away, I may meet people I wish I had never met while others I'll hope I'll never forget. But each person played a roal this semester and that I will always remember.

11/15/2010

I got to see my neice the other day. She is so cute. It's crazy to think that only a couple of weeks ago she was infront of our Heavenly Father. I've always wondered if she dreams about the premortal life. It's only a little while before the semester will be over. It's crazy to think about. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I hadn't come summer semester. But that's in the past and I'm really don't care anymore. I made friends and so its all good. Oh there is this girl in the commons that, and not to be rude, but she wont shut her mouth. I don't know what to do.

11/4/2010

It's been a sucky week. My left ear started getting stuffed on tuesday. Wasn't to big of a deal. Until later in the day. It started hurting and got so stuffed things sound like their under water. I would so love if it would just pop or at least have the pain go away. I don't like having to take pain reliever just to take care of the pain. Anyway I am so ready for a break from school. Phill has his first baby. They named her Emma. My teeth are bugging me too. Life just seems to be going down hill right now. I hope it gets better. I missed my class this morning cause partly my ear and partly cause I was so tired. Life sucks right now.

10/26/2010

Well alot has happened I think since the last time I wrote. I got a massage yesturday. It wasn't long enough though. I feel like time is just flying by and I have no control over it. It makes me feel kind of sad and frustrated at the same time. I would really like to just stop and feel peace like I did so long ago. The only unfortunate part was that after a while everyone was bugging me and I didn't get to that total feeling of peace. School has been alright. I have a deal going with a friend to see who can stay off of facebook the longest. I'm kind of worried that I might no beable to make it. I really want to but it's not easy.

10/12/10

Woke up this today and wished I could have gone back to bed. But I had to get up and get going cause I knew that if I didn't then I would never get to school on time. Crazy though I only had one class today and now I'm just sitting around. It's kind of nice to just try to relax and not do anything. While at the same time I'm thinking about the homework that I have that's due tomorrow. Can't wait for chris's party on Saturday though that will be fun. It's a costume party and I'm going as the prince of persia. It should be interesting. I hope that I will be able to find some friends when I go to BYU-I. I probably wont but I would really like to.

10/19/2010

Only had one class today. It's kind of nice. Tate is headed for the mission home tomorrow. I find it kind of weird that he is my nephew and he is heading on his mission before me. The semester is about half over. That's just as crazy. I have been so tired lately. More so when I get back to the appartment. I seem to just fall asleep on the floor like its the most comfortable thing in the world. Anyway my costume or however you spell that word is kind of tight. Like it's not a muscle shirt but when I raise my arms then the shirt comes up so I have to wear a shirt under it. You know I wish life was different. I feel like I was born into the wrong world. Like I suppose to live in different world but that will never happen. I just see those movies and yes I know their just movies but sometimes I wish my life was as interesting as that. To me I just go about my day and since I have no idea on what else to do I walk around like a zombie. Just going about the day like a lifeless thing. I don't know.

10/14/2010

Todays been an alright day. Got to school on time. Had an alright class. I'm planning on getting out of my history class because it literally sucks. I can't focus to well and he just blabbs. Anyway I have a paper due this friday and I need to read number the stars. I also need to buy a costume. It's crazy I have so many things to do and I'm not sure I'm going to get it all done.

10/12/10

Today has been an alright day. It's been kind of confusing to but that's ok. The people here seem so much like highschoolers including the ones that just came here this semester. I wonder if I acted that way. I really hope I didn't. They just act like their all that and their not. It's really dumb. Anyway. I haven't written in a while cause I felt like crud last thursday. I felt like my spirit was gone. Weird I know. I can't wait for a break from it all.

10/7/2010

I'm pretty tired this morning. All of my alarms went off and I just kept hiting that button. I finally got up around 7:10. I'm still really tired. I wish I could make some more friends but I doubt that will happen. The other day we did this Mr. LDSBC survey who we thought was the most popular guy here at the school. It reminded me of Mr. West Jeff. Really dumb and who really cared. It seemed like we were voting for homecoming king all over again. I mean yeah you get to vote for your friends but in the end when your older no one is going to care anyway.
I can't wait for a break from school. I need it so bad. My body is screaming at me to go back to bed and to get something to eat. I haven't had time to eat breakfast and I am starving. Lunch isn't going to happen either.

10/5/10

Last night was the worst night ever! I didn't get to bed until after midnight because some idiot left their cloths in the dryer so I couldn't put my cloths in. I was constintly checking and finally one of the dryers was free. I was so happy when I was finally able to go to bed. I think it wasn't long before I passed out on my bed. Then the next thing I knew my alarm went off and I again wasn't happy. I did finally get up and got dressed. I should have left earlier though because I had to ride the trax with the high school kids. Which wasn't fun. And now I feel like it won't be long before I hit the floor while walking down the hall. I'll probably just pass out and my body will fall over.

10/4/10

Conference was really good. I stood in line for about and hour to get into the conference center but I had to go over to the north visitors center. Which was really cool though, they had a replica of Jerusulum. I thought it was cool that I was able to see what the old Jerusulum looked like compared to now. The talks also at conference were really up lifting. I felt that many of my questions were answered. School is still crazy but it's ok. And I need a break as usual.

10/1/2010

It's finally friday! I am so happy I really need a break. It would be nice to finally get to sleep in. Oh an I have to wear a stupid suit today for my business class. It really sucks. I hope I find a job when I get older that doesn't completely require you to always wear a suit. I also need a couple of new ties. It's getting kind of old when your wearing the same tie day after day. Mom is coming down this weekend! I quess Dad is too. But atleast Mom's coming. It'll be nice to see her. Man it's only been a month. Actually less than that since I started this semester. This really sucks.

9/30/10

Hey another crazy day here in the great Salt Lake City. No more classes for the day and I am so happy. I have this crazy idea for a crazy chocolate cake. General confrence is this week but I probably wont make it. Will have to listen to it on the radio. I feel like I have so much homework it's crazy. There are so many things that I need to do that I don't think that I'm going to get it all done.

9/29/2010

Today has been a good day. I've been able to hang out with my friends and do some fun things in class. I still have some home work due and some that was due and I still haven't done yet. I'm a little worried about how Holloween is going to be but I'll servive. Its still hard to believe that I'm here at college and it was only a few months ago that I graduated from high school. Crazy Life crazy life.

9/29/2010

It is about 8:29 am this morning. I'm feeling better then i was yesturday. The days are getting shorter. And the nights with the airconditioning are getting more uncomfortable. That's all I have for now.

9/28/2010

I'm not sure why I decided to make this blog my new journal. Maybe it will help me get my feelings more out there. I'm not sure. So far today hasn't really been that great. Ok let me be serious it's sucked. I haven't felt like this for a while. And I know that when I read this later that I will want to delete it since I will be better later and I will think that I was just an idiot. But I feel I need to say this to get it off my chest. I feel like a person in deep despair. Someone who has gone through so much emotionally and yet there is no exact reason why.
As I was comming down stairs in the elevator I wondered why Heavenly Father lets us go through such miserable times. I know that most people would say "It's because he wants us to learn and grow", or "We need to experiance sorrow so that we can understand more so that we can become like our Heavenly Father." But I want a different answer then to the ones that are always given on Sunday or to friends from church that seem to be able to just accept the sayings that others have said. I feel though that I have just been pulled along because my family required it from me. And now I just want to be alone. I don't want to have to be that special person that will bring ever soul to the gospel. I just don't feel ready for it. What I would like to do is take a trip off on my own to certain places around the world that I have always wanted to go and just see what I learn from experiances that could be really remarkable.
My day has been filled with why should I live through another day of this Terrestial or Telestial world. Why should I remain here if there is a chance that it could all not be true or that I just wont end up with my family in the end. I know that this all sounds crazy and when I look back at this I will wonder why I ever felt this way. But I think its good to feel this way. To get these feelings down on paper so that in the future if my fews have changed then I will know how far I have come.